recently

I am huge

I am depressed

I am disgusting

I am lonley

I am stupid

I am just so so so sad

I don't know what to do, I just don't know

I feel like hurting myself

butterfly

I act like shit don't faze me, inside it drives me crazy, my insecurities could eat me alive

feather

There is this guy who I have sex with, we are kind of seeing each other I guess. I asked him who he thinks is amazingly sexly (celebrity wise) and he named all these celebrities that have amazing bodies. I want him to think I am sexy like that. He names a dancer who has an ugly face and I said that and he said he agrees but when she dances she just looks so sexy it makes up for it.

I want guys to think I am sexy, guys might think I am pretty, but not sexy.

so lost

Mums partner told me I can get a job or leave. I am definatly not welcome here. I wish so much I had somewhere else to go. He knows I had a trial at a resteraunt last weekend but he still says that. Then when I went to my room crying I heard him yell at Mum that me living here isn't working out.
They act like I am 30 years old and still living at home, no I am 18 years old, most 18 year olds live with their parents.
I don't know what to do

same same different different

Things are still the same, I am still fat, depressed, a loser.

I went out last night and I was the fattest girl in the group, I felt really bad. Especially coz the girls I was with were very very hot, one of them won sexiest girl in the club.

I need to lose weight so I can party with the girls without feeling bad about myself.