competition update

So we had our weigh in on tuesday. I have always weighed less then my sister but now I only weight 100g less. I have to work harder.
Anrew is in the lead which sucks coz he doesn't even try hard.... Last night he had a big bag or m&m's. Its good he waits until I go to bed before he eats junk food but I found the wrapper this morning. Anyway the competition goes off percentage lost insread of kilos so even though I have lost the most weight I am coming last. Its like this:
Me: 0.75%
Laura: 1.4%
Andrew: 3.2%
So yeah, I'm losing haha.

Moving on, today I worked off 537 cals doing Zumba for 45 mins. Its 11:30am here now so I might do 20 mins of pilates this afternoon. I wanted to get my cross trainer out from the garage but the last few days whenever Andrew has a minute to help me its either to dark or pooring rain.

I haven't eaten anything yet today but I think I will make some scrambled eggs with veggies in it for lunch. Dinner will probably be steak and vegie. We had that last night too but andrew marinaded it beautifully, it was so delicious. Its funny Andrew makes the hugest piece of steak for himself and a really small bit for me. I like it though because he knows the perfect size to fill me up without over doing it and its less calories.

I am tempted to weigh myself today but Laura says thats cheating... I don't see how but I guess it would take away the excitment of doing it all together.

I have lots of diet breakers coming up next month. We are going to brazillion BBQ for Lauras birthday. Drinks for lauras birthday with one group of friends then drinks on another night with a seperate group of friends. High tea with Laura and other girls. Plus Andrew wants to take me to Lebanese cuisine this saturday. I love doing things like that but I hate the calories. Lol I just realised it might seem weird to some peolpe that I hang out with my sister so much but we really are close friends. She has two different friend groups who she doesn't want to mix and I hang out with both sides as well. Although they are all late 20's and I'm only 19, it just works. Lauras only 22 turning 23 next month.

Anyway I hope all is well and thank you to those who have commented, I really do appreciate it xxx

boys boys boys

This morning when I woke up Andrew was asking me what I was going to do today. I said I don't know so he said "what can I do to motivate you?" I said "maybe you should motivate yourself". Well he took that the wrong way. I only meant that he had been saying he will go to the gym for ages and hasn't been.
Anyway he started swearing and yelling that I was being a smart arse. He ended up calling me a cunt. After he left for work I sent him this:

"Never in my life have I ever been called a cunt. I didn't think you would ever say that to me. I can't be with someone who talks to me like that, someone who disrespects me that much. It makes it even worse that all I said was 'you should try and motivate yourself'... That is not in any way offensive. I just meant you have been talking about going to the gym for ages and you never have. I am really hurt and offended. The way you spoke to me and swore at me was so aggressive, I don't know how you could say that to me"

About 5 mins after I sent it, his car pulled into the drive way. He came in and I was like what are you doing here he said he said he took the day off to make it up to me. He apologised so much and said he just woke up grumpy.

Anyway now I'm really happy he stayed home. We went out to lunch and went to the shops etc.

Today I have had a vegetable wrap and some hot chips and thats all. We are going out tonight as well and I will probably drink so I don't know how many cals I will have.

Hope you are all going well xxx

feeling fatttt

Andrew and I have been so poor that we can hardly afford to eat.
Yesterday Andrew bought 2kgs of mince so that we could eat but we can't afford to be healthy.
We ended up making spaghetti bolognaise because we had all the ingredience plus the mince. Tomorrow we will have rissoles with the mince and some frozen veggies.
I feel really bad that we have to be unhealthy because we can't afford to buy chicken or beef steaks. Just mince.
I especially feel bad because of the competition we are having. Laura, Andrew and I are weighing in this afternoon and I am really scared I am going to be heavier.
I have lost 6.4kgs (14.1lbs) and I hope I have lost more even if its tiny. Or at least stayed the same.
I know this is a sign of my ED (which is under control now btw) but I am terrified of weighing myself in the afternoon with clothes on... I always weigh myself after I go to the toilet in the morning and butt naked. But obviously because Laura is going to be here I can't strut out naked.
This is all I will be thinking about all day I know.
In 2 months I will be coming into some money and I can't help looking at all the things I'm going to buy haha. Theres some beautiful formal dresses I want but I would have no where to wear them haha. I think I might be able to find somewhere like a black tie charity event or something. There are so many dresses I want. And shoes! I'm getting excited just thinking about it!! haha
Its especially exciting because we are so poor now. Just thinking about having nice things again makes it ok.
Anyway I'm starting to babble so I will leave you at that. Hope all is well xxx

DANCE MOMS!!

I'm so addicted to Dance Moms!!! I just had a marathon where I watched most of the season. I was watching it on TV and waiting for each new episode every week but I couldn't wait so I downloaded the season. I have the second episode downloading now haha.

So today I have had an apple for breakfast, a tuna sub for lunch and I'm having a turkey and ham sub for dinner. I weighed myself on Tuesday and I have gained a kilo!!! I don't know where it came from so I am hoping it is just because I have my period.

Today I got my eyes tested because I have really bad night vision lately. The doctor said I am a little short sited which can be worse then in the day time because in the darkness theres no contrast between other things, if that makes sence haha. Anyway so I chose a pair of glasses, they are pretty cute and they're Charlie Brown. I only have to wear them at night.

Hope your all going well! xx

If theres love just feel it

I fucked up my diet today. I had a pizza roll from the bakery and some coconut macaroons.

My sister Laura, Andrew and I are starting our own biggest loser competition. Each week Laura will come to our house to weigh in and we each have to put $5 in a jar at each weigh in. At the end of the competition the one who has lost the most weight (percentage wise so its fair) will get the jar with the money. It will be $120 which is good because all 3 of us are broke it won't cost us much to play and we get a bit of spending money at the end.

I haven't weighed myself yet this week so I am still on a loss of 5.5kgs.

I feel like an empty shell lately. Pretty depressed. Its because I sit around all day and do nothing. I had a dentist appointment today but I couldn't be bothered to go so I just got high instead. What a life. I am starting studying in 3 weeks anyway so I hope it goes quickly.

Anyway hope everyone is going well.

Its friday =)

Today I am doing nothing once again. Now that I am unemployed I feel like such a loser. Well I have a placed confirmed for me in beauty school which starts in 3 weeks so I won't be sitting around all day for much longer.
My diet is still going really well. Today I had 2 boiled eggs for breakfast and some chicken breast with a little salad for lunch. For dinner I have no idea what we will have.
I started reading a book about the paleo diet which I have been doing for 3 weeks now but the words are too big and scientific so I couldn't understand it hahaha. I know all the basic principles of the diet but I wanted to have some in depth knowledge about it. Oh well I guess I know enough.
I really don't have anything to write about...
Andrew and I had a fight this morning, I really don't know why but he was swearing and everything at me while I was still in bed. So I didn't start the day very well. We have talked since then though so its ok. He didn't mention it so I didn't get an apology but I don't really care.
I am feeling quite sad lately because I don't have a single friend. When andrew goes out on boys nights I sit and wait for him to come home. I don't have anyone I can call to talk to, no one to grab a coffee with, no one to go dancing with... Not a single friend.
If I didn't have Andrew I would have no one.

Hot Chick

So I have lost a total 4.7kgs (10.3lbs) but I have had a couple of naughty days last week... I had high tea with my sister and a couple of friends. That included mini sausage rolls, mini quiches, mini pasties, chocolate cupcake, jam tart, mini apple and cinnamon muffin, half an egg sandwich and little chocolates. Oh yeah and a cocktail! I didn't really mind eating all that stuff because I was with friends and was having so much fun.
I also had a cheeseburger and a mcflurry from mcdonalds yesterday. Naughty!!!!
I have a zumba dvd downloading now for me to do later. I have never done zumba before or even seen it really except for an add so I will see how it goes.
Hope everyone had a healthier week then me!!! Oh well I am back in it today, I've had an apple and a banana so far. I will have a tuna salad with a boiled egg for lunch I think then dinner will probably be homemade rissoles or meatloaf that andrew will make.
I am watching the hot chick, its so funny!! I haven't seen it in years hahah.
Anyway have a good week everyone xxx

VENT

Hi everyone,

I am still sticking to this diet and still feeling good. I have resisted the urge to weigh myself because I have promised to only weigh myself once a week instead of everyday. Its hard though because I am so curious haha.
I have had a banana so far today. I don't know what I will have for the rest of the day.

I am thinking about studying beauty so that I can start a business from home. I have an information evening for it next week. The course is $15, 000 but I am in the middle of a compansation case so the insurance company said they will pay for it.

I can see that no one is reading my posts but it makes me feel better to write it so oh well haha. It also means I can write really personal stuff. I could change to a diary but I guess if one person decides to read this that means something.

Anyway yesterday I had a mediation for my court case. I am feeling pretty down that we didn't settle because now I have to go to trial. I have a two week trial in August where I will have to relive everything I have been through. It will be really distressing and traumatic so I am not looking forward to it. I also feel bad because Andrew and Mum both have to be witnesses so they both have to miss work.

The offer the other side gave was about 5 million dollars less then what we asked for so there was no way we could settle yesterday and at court I could get as much as 8 million dollars. So I know most people would think your crazy for not wanting to go to court, 2 weeks for an extra few million dollars, but people don't know how it affects me. For the next 2 months I will be thinking about it everyday, worrying that I will stuff it up. I have to be cross examined so I am really scared I will say something wrong. Or that one of my other witnesses will say something wrong.

This court case has been going on for 11 years so 2 more months isn't long to wait but still its two extra months I don't have the money I deserve.

Anyway this post has been very rambly so I will go now =) xxx

week one summary

So week one is over now and I feel pretty good I guess. Well I don't but I know I should. Total weight loss for the week was 2.8kgs (6.2lbs). Thats pretty good but I am disappointed because I put on 100g (0.2lbs) over the weekend even though I was good.
Anyway overall weightloss was good. Hopefully it will continue.
So I have been eating lots of fruit and veggies and a bit of meat. I know I should go and walk my dog and maybe go to the gym but the tiny little gain this morning has killed my motivation haha.
Oh well I will have to just keep my eye on that amazing dress and keep trying harder.
Today for brekkie I had an apple and a banana and for lunch a tuna salad with one boiled egg. Dinner will probably be a small piece of steak or a bit of chicken.

I hope everybody is going well!!!

xxx

=D

Hey peeps,
So today I went to go watch my mum do a hang glide but there was no wind so she couldn't do it. We were pretty disappointed but we decided to hit this massive gym instead. So I did 20 mins on the treadmill, 10 on the bike and an hour long pilates class. Afterwoods mum, her partner Gary and I went to lunch. I had a protien salad which had tuna, egg, lettuce, cucumber and a bit of cheese. I know I'm not supposed to have any dairy but its hard to keep completly to the diet when you eat out.

Anyway I hope everyone is doing well, let me know xxx