Andrew and I have been so poor that we can hardly afford to eat.
Yesterday Andrew bought 2kgs of mince so that we could eat but we can't afford to be healthy.
We ended up making spaghetti bolognaise because we had all the ingredience plus the mince. Tomorrow we will have rissoles with the mince and some frozen veggies.
I feel really bad that we have to be unhealthy because we can't afford to buy chicken or beef steaks. Just mince.
I especially feel bad because of the competition we are having. Laura, Andrew and I are weighing in this afternoon and I am really scared I am going to be heavier.
I have lost 6.4kgs (14.1lbs) and I hope I have lost more even if its tiny. Or at least stayed the same.
I know this is a sign of my ED (which is under control now btw) but I am terrified of weighing myself in the afternoon with clothes on... I always weigh myself after I go to the toilet in the morning and butt naked. But obviously because Laura is going to be here I can't strut out naked.
This is all I will be thinking about all day I know.
In 2 months I will be coming into some money and I can't help looking at all the things I'm going to buy haha. Theres some beautiful formal dresses I want but I would have no where to wear them haha. I think I might be able to find somewhere like a black tie charity event or something. There are so many dresses I want. And shoes! I'm getting excited just thinking about it!! haha
Its especially exciting because we are so poor now. Just thinking about having nice things again makes it ok.
Anyway I'm starting to babble so I will leave you at that. Hope all is well xxx
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