.

I am fat
I am ugly
I am stupid
I am an idiot
I am fat
I am fat
I am fat
I am obese
I am huge
I am disgusting

I can't stop eating, eating, eating. All day, everyday. Eat, eat, eat.

I don't know how to stop.

Things are really really bad

I have been binging pretty much everyday, and staying in bed all day, all night. I am so depressed and fat and stupid and DUMB.

Today I had 2x grilled cheese and tomato sauce sandwich, hot chips with chicken salt and gravy, chocolate and I made chocolate dipped strawberries for my bf so I will probs have some of those later and I have to have dinner.

Most days have been like this, I don't know whats wrong with me but I can't seem to snap out of this cycle. I don't know what to do I am just getting fatter and fatter.

I left the house for the first time in a while today, it was ok, good to get out of the house I suppose. God I am sad.

Hope your all well
xxx

30 Day Challenge

Ok I am going to do part of my own version of the 30 day challenge.I have nothing to do so I am going to do this.

A picture of yourself with ten facts:

Facts:

1. I am a Leo

2. I have a brain injury

3. I am addicted to coke zero

4. I study business

5. I have a sister Laura 6. I have a half sister Peta

7. I love disposable cameras

8. I am obsessed with the Sims and Cooking Mama

9. I have anxiety and depression

10. I am turning 19

A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest:

My sister Laura and I <3

A picture of the cast from your favorite show

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Miley Cyrus fo shizzzz

A picture that makes you laugh

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Ninaaa <3

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

My boyfriend (my face looks so fat in this)

A picture of your favorite band or artist

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

My mother

Nostalgia

Its sad when people you know become people you knew, when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life, how you used to be able to talk for hours and now you can barely even look at them, how the millions of memories have become nothing but faded thoughts, its sad how one day you just wake up and everything is different, things have changed and people have moved on...

Bowl of oranges

The rain it started tapping, on the window near my bed, there was a loop hole in my dreaming, so I got out of it, and to my suprise my eyes were wide and already open, just my night stand and my dresser, where the nightmares had just been, so I dressed myself and left them, out into the great streets, where evrything seemes different and completley new to me, the sky, the trees, houses, buildings even my own body, and each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet. And I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health, I said "theres nothing that I can do for you you can't do for yourself", he said "oh yes you can just hold my hand, I think that that would help" so I sat with him a while and I asked him how he felt, he said "I think I'm cured, in fact I'm sure of it, thank you stranger, for your theraputic smile" So thats how I learned the lesson, that everyones alone, and your eyes must do some raining, if your ever gonna grow, but when crying don't help can't compose yourself, its best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing, or a simple song of hope, thats why I'm singing baby don't worry, coz now I got your back, and everytime you feel like crying, I will try and make you laugh, and if I can't if it just hurts to bad, then we'll wait for it to pass, and I will keep you company, for those days so long and black, and we'll keep working on the problem, we know we'll never solve, and loves uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole, but if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall, then I think we'd see the beauty and, we'd stand staring in awe, at our still lives pose, like a bowl of oranges, like the story told by the fault lines and the soil