Hello,
How are you?
I am ok, I feel a little ill though.
I wish I were thin.
Why are some people naturally thin?
Its unfair.
Lately I have been feeling embarrassed when I go out in public.
I'm so ashamed of being so fat.
Everything will be ok right?
I will put my mind to it, like I always do.
I will lose the weight like I always do.
I will be happy for a few weeks/months.
Then I will gain the weight back, like I always do.
I don't know any other way.
I've been like this to long.
Fuck
Here we go again.
Why does something as stupid as food control my life?
Why do I let it?
My heart hurts.
I feel sad.
I feel like crying.
I feel like hurting myself.
I feel dead.
Oh Bethy.
ReplyDeleteTimes like these, I wish I were better; you were better, we were better.
I wish I could be enough to be there for you, I wish anyone could.
But somehow, you're the one that will make it out by yourself, in the end. You'll figure it out, you'll find a way. I'm here, in the meantime. I'm sorry I disappeared, and i'm sorry I can't say anything other than that I know you'll get there; you have to, we have to.
Please believe it
xxx
I know exactly* what you're feeling and feel the exact same way :(
ReplyDeleteSuck doesn't it?
xx