freaking out!

désespérée de maigrir - Thanks for asking, I am going to beauty school in Sydney, Australia.

Today I have to go to my mums to see my financial advisor. I have to be there at 5:15pm so I will leave around 3:30pm. I really can't be bothered to go but I have to sign some forms.

Its getting closer to the court case.... Apart from food and dieting etc its all I think of. I am worried and scared. I don't want to get on the witness stand. I don't to speak in front of all those people. I don't want to tell everyone whats wrong with me and what I've been through. I think whats freaking me out the most is that all these people, all the doctors who are expert witnesses, my solicitor, my barrister, the judge, the defendent... They are all there for me. Its all about me. There is a two week trial where they will just be talking about me. I have always thought I didn't matter and now this is happening and its overwhelming. My solicitor and my barrister have flown around the country to take my brain scans to the top specialists. All for me. Its so crazy. I don't want to fuck up in court and ruin everyones hard work over the last 11 years.

Anyway I'm going to get my mind off things and watch a cake show. Hope everyone is well xxx