Don't read this

Today has been bad. I was sick so I stayed home from work. I have been very sore, my body aches, my head is killing. I feel very depressed. I can't stop thinking about hurting myself. If I only had a gun. I need help, I know that but I don't want it. I need to go back to hospital but then I will eat. I want help for my depression but not for my ed, it wish that were possible, they go hand in hand. Have you ever heard of a happy person with an ed?

I haven't recieved an email or text in ages, however stupid this sounds that makes me feel so shit. No one is thinking about me, or bothering to reply to me. I feel so desperate, I wouldn't want to be friends with me either. No one cares about me, not really, I have no real friends, all I have is Jonno and he doesn't know how to be there for me. I wish he could. I wish he could give me the support I need. I can't look after myself.

I hope no one reads this, I sound like the biggest loser ever. I sound like I'm just filled with self pity, which may be true but who cares? Who really gives a fuck if I feel sorry for myself? No one. If I knew someone who was just like me, I would feel sorry for them.