enough is enough... or is it?

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Ava-Rose- yes I told my doctor everything, I'm not going to lie to someone who is trying to help me. In saying that, I also told him I don't want to get better. Yes its good I'm finally seeing someone, its been to long. Thanks for the comment xxx

On the weekend, I decided, I have had enough. After 4 years of disordered eating, lies, binges, purging and self loathing, its time to give this whole recovery thing a try.

So I go out and I buy a nice journal for me to keep track of my eating and exercise. I figured out a plan of action and wrote it all in my pretty little book.

You might be thinking "oh, good for her! She's going to get her life on track!", well, you'd be wrong.

Trying to be better has just reinforced in my mind that I am a complete and utter fuck up.

I started off today thinking I would have a 'normal' breakfast, and I overate.

Then I thought I would have a nice healthy morning tea, and I overate.

Then came lunch time, when I didn't eat at all.

Then afternoon and what do you know? I overate again.

Now I'm sitting here thinking, well, I obviously need help.

I will tell the specialist about my failed attempt and see what he has to say.

On a lighter note, I sent in my first application for uni today =]

wish me luck!!!!

I'll write again soon

xx